If there is one thing developmental psychologists have learned over the years, it is that parents don’t have to be brilliant psychologists to succeed. They don’t have to be supremely gifted teachers. Most of the stuff parents do with flashcards and special drills and tutorials to hone their kids into perfect achievement machines don’t have any effect at all. Instead, parents just have to be good enough. They have to provide their kids with stable and predictable rhythms. They need to be able to fall in tune with their kids’ needs, combining warmth and discipline. They need to establish the secure emotional bonds that kids can fall back upon in the face of stress. They need to be there to provide living examples of how to cope with the problems of the world so that their children can develop unconscious models in their heads. (60-61)
- Creating stable and predictable rhythms and routines
- Meeting needs with both love and appropriate discipline
- Providing a secure refuge from which to venture out
- Being examples of good behavior
While others go and come,
No more a stranger, nor a guest;
But like a child at home.
A "good enough" home seems like just about all anyone could want.
Good Enough – Kevin DeYoung, My Shepherd Will Supply My Need