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Ambrose Bierce |
Ambrose Bierce's
Devil's Dictionary, original title
The Cynic's Word Book, (1906) was a source of considerable amusement when discovered by one of my friends. We were all in high school at the time. I have a somewhat worn paperback copy that hasn't been opened in years. In his sermon this week my pastor used a definition that I mistook as from that source: "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." That was from Santayana not Bierce. But it
was the sort of thing Bierce could have written. I am happy to have discovered that Bierce's
Dictionary is available online
here and
here in its entirety. (Note, "entirety" includes bigotries unfortunately common in the last century. Nor was Bierce a friend of religious belief.)
- ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
- ADMIRATION, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
- APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.
- BIGOT, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
- BORE, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- BRUTE, n. See HUSBAND.
- CHILDHOOD, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth—two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
- CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.
- EDUCATION, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
- HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
- HYPOCRITE, n. One who, professing virtues that he does not respect secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises. ....
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