The lust to dominate

I have only tangentially experienced a domineering pastor: I once learned I was on a pastor's enemies list. I never knew why. I have more than once known of churches destroyed or badly wounded by that kind of leadership, two by the same guy. Of course that sort of leadership appears in secular settings too, probably far more often. But a Christian church ought to be different. From "Protecting the Sheep from Domineering Pastors":

Every generation produces its version of the holy tyrant. The names change but not the pattern. Even the titles can vary: senior pastor, ruling elder, or influential layman with the loudest voice in the room. What they share is a widening circle of personal authority and the slow accumulation of wreckage that follows them: broken relationships, silenced dissent, fleeing members, shattered congregations.

This pattern should not surprise us. Augustine identified this impulse 16 centuries ago and gave it a name: the libido dominandi — the lust to dominate.

In “The City of God” (14:28), Augustine drew the defining contrast between two cities, two loves, two images of self. The earthly city is built on love of self and contempt for God. The heavenly city, on the other hand, is built on love of God and contempt for self. In the earthly city, men are ruled by libido dominandi. In the heavenly city, by the love of serving.

Augustine added a twist that every church leader should read slowly: the proud are made subject to their own desire. The lust to dominate becomes the lust that dominates. The man who sets out to control others ends up enslaved to the need. ....

Jonathan Edwards defined pride as a man “having too high a thought of himself” – something imperceptible to someone so afflicted. That interior miscalibration is where the libido dominandi germinates. Before the tyrant fires anyone, rewrites the bylaws, or silences the first dissenter, he has already concluded in the unexamined recesses of his own heart that his judgment is superior to other people’s.

The lust to dominate rarely begins with naked ambition; it usually begins with real competence. The leader who can preach, cast vision, manage a budget, or simply outwork everyone in the room comes to a reasonable-sounding conclusion: I know what I’m doing. These people don’t. My judgment is better than theirs. I need to take charge of the situation.

This conclusion may even be true in some cases, but pride always demands more. I’m smarter than they are. I see what they can’t see. I have a better grasp of the mission, theology, and the future of this church. And because I know better, my authority to direct them is righteous. And opposing me obstructs God’s work.

Scripture tells a different story:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3–4). ....

What makes libido dominandi so insidious in church settings is that it can wear the face of sacrifice.

The domineering pastor is often genuinely hardworking, passionate about the mission, and willing to absorb personal cost in service of the vision. He may honestly believe that the people resisting him are spiritually immature, self-interested, or deceived, and that the loving thing is to override them. (It’s not always the pastor. Sometimes, the pastor is the victim.) ....

Augustine’s two cities are not hypothetical. They are the competing realms chosen by every leader, elder, session, and every one of us. The earthly city runs on the lust to dominate. The heavenly city runs on the love of serving. .... (more)

Steven J. Willing, "Protecting the Sheep from Domineering Pastors," byFaith (PCA), July 27, 2026.